12:40 am

Every dream is hazy, every hope despondent without You.  All the safety lines and self pleasing rites lie tattered here. 

I'm there, I'm not quite where I should be, I'm dawning but still dying in me.  In myself the hope and sin are rising both together towards some crashing crescendo.

Only to find I'm just so empty.  Empty without You, or smiling eyes to warm my heart.  Empty without food to fill this yawning place in me.

     This is how great stories begin, or sad ones end.  It's the stepping off point to somewhere new, but at which point of the story have we just entered? 

     The only clue and only hope is that I can still say the word "tomorrow" because that is where I find my home.

(a written reflection on 2 Corinthians 4: 16-18)

Comments

[sara]

wow - i confess when i first read this, it didn't speak so loud, but with the unfolding of some recent things in my life, this pinpoints alot for me! it's amazing how the Father works - glad you posted this despite its 'personal nature' - peace 2 you

[kasey]

This was written while sitting in my truck in the Free Methodist church parking lot in Wilmore aroun 12:40am mondayl. The dark both hides and exposes things. . .

I was actually a little hesitant in posting this due simply to the personal nature of it, but I want to not be afraid of honesty. . . this is based out of one nagging question I keep coming to and that is, "why isit still so tough to live?" I guess I just thought being a Christian would come easier by now, but I suppose I'll never be a robot and that is for the best.