I have double died in streams of flight and fancy. I have dreamt beyond hope and specter of my hidden self.
Never to dance beyond beams of scattered light. Never to yield without my own death it seems.
I'll live hidden and never free. I'll live between myself and You and fail to see the truth just at my back
Chasing shadows; frayed and dark, dancing like a spook in blurry half-sense.
This cave, this "more than death and less than dying".
Will I go on chasing what I can't see?
Will You pry my eyes to heaven, will You thrust the sword too deep
let my belly spill as I gasp and then awaken to know the death of me within and without You.
Or will I sleep in grace and finally know rest and truth and joy?
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Posted by: Alexvnt | Oct 02, 2007 at 06:24 PM
"I'll live hidden and never free."
Too many of us are here. We are afraid to allow the light of Christ to go into those hidden places. The result? Bondage. Even if we have had this experience of freedom it seems like every new situation is once again a step of faith to allow Christ and other in, not be remind hidden.
I really like the paths of this one Kasey.
Posted by: dcw | Apr 16, 2005 at 11:11 AM
Francis said that in baptism we die the only death that matters. Paul talks about carrying "death" around in our bodies for the sake of others. "more than death and less than dying" I, too, appreciated that lyric and I understand it to refer to crucifixion here--- what it means to be crucified with Christ and no longer live and yet to transcend death; to die the only death that matters. crucifixion is not like lethal injection. it is, rather, a long, slow arduous death. crucifixion is to grow into our baptism-- when reality meets fact. crucifixion-- to carry the cross-- is more than death and yet less than dying. what do you think about that Kasey?
Posted by: jd walt | Apr 14, 2005 at 09:13 PM
It started in being inspired by Plato's "Allegory of the cave"; wherein people chase after mere shadows, never turning around to see the reality just at their backs. And then I thought about how I'm like that, and just what it might take for God to get my attention and see what is real. Essentially it takes death, the death of myself to find my life in Jesus (I think there's something in the Bible about that). There is something about hiddenness too that I'm yet to really grasp; there's desire and fear in it (both in being "hidden" from God in sin and being hidden in Christ). My favorite line (egotistical I know, but there it is) is "more than death and less than dying". I'm still not sure what it means, but I think it has something to do with the suddenness of the actual moment of death vs. the prolonged pain, often times, when one is dying.
Posted by: Kasey Martin | Apr 13, 2005 at 06:20 PM
Wow. . . . . that's all I can muster right now. i'd be interested in hearing some of your own commentary on the poem. this one has the feel of one moving into and out of darkness-- moving through light at an imperceptible speed-- aiming to be hidden and seen simultaneously. . . . to know the freedom of hiddenness instead of the fear-dom of it.
Posted by: jd walt | Apr 12, 2005 at 10:08 PM